10 ways to make your graphic design blog irrelevant in 12 months

I’ve done the homework for you so that you don’t have to! Let’s take your blog from bad to worse, like a slow train wreck, over the next 12 months. All you have to do is follow these 10 steps:

1. Make a fake sticky note and coffee stain ring and use it all over your site. It shows you are sophisticated yet down to earth, friendly yet professional.
2. Tell everyone something like “Hi. I’m Fred. I design beautiful websites.” That way, people will know that you are Fred, and that you design beautiful websites.
3. Make sure all your fonts are being rendered in Typekit. Please use at least 9 different typefaces.
4. Make a post about “25 minimal WordPress Themes”.
5. Make a post about “15 amazing Photoshop Tutorials”.
6. Litter your links, banners, footers, and text with important keywords every other word like “graphic designer” and “freelance”.
7. Make sure you have huge, giant, really big, and easily clickable icons for Twitter, Facebook, and RSS feeds. They should be at least 1024 pixels wide each, have  a drop shadow, and a little character pointing to them. That way, people will see the icons and not miss the icons.
8. Include most colors from the entire visible spectrum in your design. Use some ultraviolet too so a visitor can see the site if they happen to be in a room with a blacklight.
9. Find a very well-known blogger you like, and copy his or her site literally, down to the last pixel. It worked for them, it will work for you too.
10. Very important: write an article about how to get freelance design work. It should say things like “ask your friend for business” and “print business cards” and “try and get freelance business”. Also, a good tip to include is “use the internet” to get freelance work. It’s amazing how many people miss that one.

Ok, that was sarcastic. Don’t do those things.

Instead, get a nice clean design and write in a personal voice and make sure you have 3 or 4 search engine things figured out. It’s worth reading Copyblogger.com and sites like that, but don’t go nuts. Just write good stuff and relax. Post frequently and you’ll be fine.

Blogging, whatever you blog about, is a chess game and not a game show: think then act.

Enjoy the game!

This article was inspired by:

• 2 Reasons Why Your Portfolio Site Sucks over at Drawar.com. If anything, Scrivs is opinionated. It works.